Dr. Labia Love

Sex and Love Junk

Anonymous said: What's the best way to fake an orgasm?

I’d love to tell you. But then I’d have to kill you. Stop faking the orgasm. 

(Source: themadswami)

“penis size and earth quakes are very similar. 5 is kinda small… 6-7 is about right… 8-9 is huge. and 10+ is game over.”

—   RJ Lewandowski (via kayarebee-)

(via kellynista-deactivated20120316)

Anonymous said: i'm 18/female/straight, and i masturbate. this wouldn't really be an issue or anything, but the way i masturbate is through tribadism – i don't need to take off my pants or touch myself to orgasm, i just get in the mood and go for it. also, my boyfriend can't get me to orgasm, not by eating out or vaginal sex or anything. i really don't have a problem with this. i mean yeah, i'd love to have an orgasm during sex, but it's not necessary – he feels bad about it all the time, and feels like he's not enough, etc. i keep telling him it's because i masturbate, but i'm too embarrassed about the way i do it to actually tell him. is there a way to have sex with him that would help get me off that way? sorry if this is too complicated, but thanks for your time.

Listen, sweetie, you’ve got to tell him. If you do, you’ll feel much better about the whole situation. This will release you from the tension that further inhibits you from having an orgasm with him. Your fear of embarrassment is understandable but if he truly cares about you, he will continue to do so by accepting you & your unique masturbatory style and willingly find a way to get you off. If he doesn’t, what’s the worst that could happen? He’ll run and tell his friends? If he does that, he’s obviously a childish douche and you can just tell everyone that his penis looks like your dogs chew-toy and that he cries while he busts his nuts. That’s a back-up come-back in case of emergency though somehow I doubt he would exploit you. Keep in mind that pretty much everyone has embarrassing secrets and their own “special” ways of pleasuring themselves, so you’re not alone.

Guys are eager to give women orgasms at almost any cost, even if it’s through non-penetrative methods. So maybe once he knows, he can assist you by providing whatever tools you need to get off. You should try dry-humping various parts of his body (the shaft of his penis, thigh, etc., get creative) or have him use his hands. I am certain he can give you an orgasm if you make up your mind and choose to open yourself to the experience. Confidence and fervency on his part will go a long way. You can also do what I encourage all women to try at least once: SIT ON HIS FACE. Go for a good ol’ mustache ride. You’d be in complete control and his mind would be completely blown. Also, try not masturbating for a while. A long while. See if that increases the intensity when you have sex with your beau. No matter what, make sure you make him feel like a sexy beast, too, so he can have positive associations with applying such alternative methods to get you there.

I am concerned that this issue could be mental. What is it about the safety of self-pleasure that only allows you to orgasm alone? What suppressed experiences or fears could be hindering you from sharing such a beautiful experience with your partner?
I know you’re okay with the sex, which should be quite a relief for your guy, but experiencing an orgasm with him can send your minds and bodies into what feels like another dimension. It’s beautiful. The dopamine release could lend itself to profoundly deepen your bond. It’s saddens me to think that you’ve not yet felt this. Whatever you decide to do, be brave. Be confident. Facing your fears is an enriching path to fulfillment. Free yourself.

Hairy scrotum vs. shaved scrotum

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"Dear Dr. Labia,

I’m a 21 year old male and I manscape once a week, keeping my man-bush trimmed to about an inch or less, and my balls shaved.
I think jungle pubes are out of style, but so is the totally bald dick look.  However, I still shave my balls.
I do it because I like my balls to be caressed and licked during blowjobs; and I have a hard time believing women prefer having hairy balls in their mouth, as opposed to shaved.  But I’m just a man, and I would love a woman’s opinion on balls and their involvement in oral sex.

Thank you :)
Manwichsmile” (submitted to drlabialove@gmail.com)

Dear Manwichsmile,
Unless your balls are smooth as eggs, you shouldn’t be shaving them. I want to say a nice “period” after that (for dramatic effect) but alas, I have too much to say. I’ve spoken with several women about this matter. While it seems like most agree with me, the results are still roughly 50/50. Some think I’m weird for liking hair on balls and I think they are weird for liking what reminds me of a hairless rodent or a newborn hamster: wrinkled, bare and sometimes a little sticky. A modest trim goes a long way (on both the scrotum and groin area). You have a hard time believing women prefer having hairy balls in their mouths but, to be honest, I have a hard time believing women enjoy having balls in their mouths. But to each her own.

My question is: Is ball-licking really important to the average man? How often are you getting your balls licked that you must devote yourself to tediously shaving such a sensitive area? You’re actually putting your balls at risk; one bad move and-well, a cut in that area could take quite sometime to heal. And those folds.. how delicately you must run the razor between them… it just seems like so much work.

I know that us girls shouldn’t ignore the scrotum while giving oral sex, so I encourage some ball-caressing if the receiver is into it. If one wants to take it a step further, she can go ahead and lick&suck those jewels like there’s no tomorrow.

I personally am not a fan of bare balls (maybe I just like my men like beasts). However, I am also not a fan of a massive jungle bush either. I need to see SOME hair down there on a man. Because I want to be with a man. Not a prepubescent boy. If I were an avid ball-licker, perhaps I would have a different opinion. But I don’t often catch myself licking balls or being asked to. 

If shaving your balls has been working for you, I guess you should keep it up, but just know that more than half of the women you will be with will secretly  think your wrinkly, hairless sac is just not cool. The fact that you keep some hair around the shaft/groin area is a very good thing though. I am, to be fair, quite idiosyncratic, so maybe don’t take what I’m saying too personally. Shaving your junk doesn’t make you less of a person. I’d honestly like to know what even more women think of the subject as well.


“Grab me by the heart and fuck the shit outta my brain”

—   Talibah S. Fields

Anonymous said: I enjoy ejaculating into library books and clothes I try on--but not purchase--at the Banana Republic in the Topanga Plaza. I call the library activity "cheesing." I call the latter, "Boy Meets World" in honor of the character, Topanga, from said TV show. My question is: should I join their memberships? The library's and BR's credit card service, that is?


You should join Club Get-A-Life. But you’re masturbatory style is no less than unique and fascinating. If you really do these things, you’re awesome.